What was the Authoress Smoking?
by Reanna-Kris-Katelyn
Summary: RKK can't sleep... She's ranting again... It has to involve randomness doesn't it? well, readers... you'll die laughing... if it makes sense to you...


Authoress' note: Alright! Thanks to all my readers, I love you all! You help me write all the bullshit you read. It is currently 2:11 in the morning of August 7, 2006… my sleep meds aren't working and I'm losing my sanity to "2BA Master"… a Pokémon soundtrack. Why I'm listening to it, I have no idea… I just got through giggling over Squee and thinking up some random thing to type about… my mom just learned how to play: Pokémon XD: Gale of Darkness, which I got two days ago… I think Pokémon has invaded my little mind? Who gives a fuck, really? I twitch… my mom wants me to do some freakin talent show and do a flippin monologue in a high-pitched chibi voice… I would totally do that… IF I WEREN'T SO FUCKING TIRED! Any way… I still don't have a topic to write about… I'm thinking of begging mom for DDR… I want a PS2 really badly… I need to lose weight too… DDR IS WEIGHTLOSS IN ENTERTAINMENT!!! FUCKING BADMITON RULES!!! MUST PLAY POWDER PUFF GAME!!! O.o… WTF? This song is retarded… it would be better if I was DANCING TO DDR WITH IT! I think I'm addicted to poptarts… Brandon and Mike fighting with stuffed ducks that quack when squeezed? O.o… OH! TOPIC!!! T-O-P-I-C!!!

Me: Wow… long ass ramble…

Kaylee: Kate are you allright?

Me: Yes… I'm going to start a riot in SUNDAY SCHOOL!

Kaylee: Kate… you don't go to church…

Me: How do you know?

Kaylee: **Sighs** you're dumb…

Me: DO NOT DENY ME FRESHMAKER!!! HAPPY NOODLE BOY!!! FRUITLOOP!

What was the Authoress smoking?

First off… we have some people fighting… I think it's Ed from FMA and Ash from Pokémon…

Ed: ASH YOU THUNDARY ASS WIPE!!!

Ash: TAKE THIS FULLMETAL PIPSQUEAK!!!

Swish… Bang… Clang… Bashoom… Zootch… Zap… Zing… Blam…

I think Ash's the winner…

Ed: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SMOKING! I WIN FOR I AM SEXY! **Rips shirt Off **FEAR MY NUTSACK SEXYNESS!!!

I really think I should drink some tension tamer… this Mel-something isn't working…

Any way…. ROLL TAPES!

Mimiru and Redd Dawn show up… I have no clue where they came from but who cares they are my favorite reviewers!

Mimi: Sooo… What's the point? And why is Ed's shirt off?

Redd: … I have no idea… R-K-K gets like this when she's hyper and needs sleep!

R-K-K (AKA Me…): OMG MY FUCKIN BRAIN FUCKIN HURTS LIKE MY ASS WHEN A DILDO'S SHOVED UP JV'S NOSE!!!

Mimi and Redd: O.o… o.O…

Any way… time for a pop quiz! FEAR MY QUIZZINESS!!!

Ed: MY SEXINESS RULES!!!

R-K-K, Redd, and Mimi: FALSE!!! FUCKING FALSE!!!

Random appearance of random characters begins with the appearance of Aion and Knives!!!

Aion: Kate… why the fuck are you typing? You have no idea what the fuck's going on!!!

Knives: Aion… hush, maybe she's retarded…

R-K-K: FEAR MY BITCHNUTS! YOU DO NOT HAVE THE DEMON DICKS TO CHALANGE THE QUEEN OF THE UNDER WORLD!!! I AM ON CRACK!

Knives: Aion… I take that back… She's not retarded… She's pathetic… we must pity her… PITY HER NOW DAMN IT!!!

Randomly I picked up D.Gray-Man and Naruto…

M.E. (Millennium Earl): I HAVE BITCH NUTS!

K-S: (Kakashi-Sensei): No! Kate has gone into crazy bitch reversed stupidity mode! Only the Ninja Harem can save her!

Ed: MY PECKS ARE FUCKING SEXY!!!

Redd: hey… Ed's right… his muscles are sexy…

RANDOM GROPAGE HAS SUDDENLY OCCURRED!!!

R-K-K: This is getting annoying… I need cheetos… ROY GET ME FLAMYNESS!!!

Roy: Yes miss Authoress whom I am in love with but realize you are taken, alas unrequited love…

All: …

Roy: What?

R-K-K: Who are you people? Why are you in my room! Can't a girl get some fucking sleep?!

Redd: R-K-K… calm the fuck down… you're typing a randomly random thing of randomly randomness…

R-K-K: o.O…

Suddenly… IT BEGINS TO RAIN!

Zoma (from Dragon Knights): Oh crap, this woman needs help… RATH A DEMON LOOKIE!!!

Wrath (FMA): I am a demon…

Rath (Dragon Knights): so am I… DEMON, DEMON, DEMON!!! **Whistles in sadistic glee while trying to kill Sloth**

Komui (D.G-M): Let me help you Mr. Rath… **Pulls out evil looking operating equipment** WHEEEEEE!!!!

All of a sudden… KAGOME COMES IN WITH INU ON A LEASH!

Kagome: Where are we? I thought this was a dog show?

Inu: Keh…

My rat suddenly appears!

DdNvHT: Squeak? (Translation: Where am I?)

R-K-K: HI BABY!!! **Huggles DdNvHT** how's my denny wenny?

DdNvHT: Squeak? (Translation: Why are you hugging me bitch?)

Headphones stolen from Yoh Asakura:

I can't watch this,

And I can't watch that,

But they can't stop me from playin',

Mamma's gone bananas,

And Daddy's gone loco,

Cause I don't hear what they're sayin'.

They complain,

I go insane,

Because I love playin' Pokémon.

All I hear…

Every day: Blah, Blah, Blah…

All I hear…

Every day: Blah, Blah, Blah…

Blah… Blah… Blah…

A through Z,

Divide, Subtract,

This work is driving me crazy.

Teacher, teacher,

Get off my back,

Gameboy's not making me lazy.

And I can't wait till three,

Then I'll be free,

And back playin' Pokémon.

All I hear…

Every day: Blah, Blah, Blah…

All I hear…

Every day: Blah, Blah, Blah…

Blah… Blah… Blah…

Don't you know you talk too much?

Don't you know you're out of touch?

Gotta leave no room to fall.

Because I've gotta catch 'em all.

Can't you see the game is me?

So why won't you just let me be?

'Cause I don't care who you are.

Don't you take away my cards.

All I hear…

Every day: Blah, Blah, Blah…

All I hear…

Every day: Blah, Blah, Blah…

Blah… Blah… Blah…

Don't you know you talk too much?

Tellin' me you double dutch.

When you know what to do,

Let me be the one to choose.

Can't you see you're buggin' me?

Why won't you let me be?

Appreciate my honesty…

BLAH… BLAH… BLAH…

I suddenly begin to yawn and rub eyes… that means this shit's almost over…

TTR:ITD Preview!!!

I've heard there was a secret card,

That David played and he pleased the lord,

But you don't really care for music do you?

It goes like this the fourth, the fifth,

The mighty fall and the major lifts,

The baffled king composing hallelujah.

Hallelujah (X4)

Your faith was strong, but you needed proof,

You saw her bathing on the roof,

Her beauty in the moonlight over threw you.

She tied you to a kitchen chair,

She broke your throne she cut your hair,

And from your lips she drew the hallelujah.

Hallelujah (X4)

Maybe I've been here before,

I know this room, I've walked this floor,

I used to live alone before I knew you.

I've seen your flag on the monolarch,

Love is not a victory march,

It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah.

Hallelujah (X4)

There was a time you let me know,

What's real and going on below,

But now you never show it to me do you?

And remember when I moved in you,

The holy dark was moving too,

And every breath we drew was hallelujah.

Hallelujah (X4)

Maybe there's a god above,

And all I ever learned from love,

Is how to shoot at someone who out drew you.

And it's not a cry you can hear at night,

It's not somebody whose seen the light,

It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah.

Hallelujah (X8)

HAH! I FUCKING LIED TO YOU BASTARDS!!!

Ed: Kate calm down and go to bed…

Aion: I have to agree with pipsqueak…

Knives: and will you quit with the randomness?

Rath, Zoma, Komui, and Wrath: Yoh-Ho-Ho he ate a gum gum!

R-K-K: NOOOO!!! NEVER!!!

Suddenly… One piece comes on!

T.V.: Gigo gigo! Dreamin, don't give it up Luffy, Dreamin, don't give it up Zolo, Dreamin, don't give it up NAMI! Dreamin, Don't give it up, give it up, No! here's how the story goes, we find out about a treasure on the grand line, there's no doubt. The pirate who's eye's on it'll sing: I'll be king of the pirates, I'm gunna be king! Gigo gigo! Meet Zolo, he's just like a samuri, N-A-M-I, Nami's not shy, Usopp's doing that marksman thing, and Sanji's cooking for the would be king!

I know… I left some stuff out… who really gives a fuck?

I hate you! I hate you all you anime bastards!!!

R-K-K: HAPPY NOODLE BOY PAWNS EDWARD AND ALL ANIME!!!

All: ….

R-K-K: oh… the meds just kicked in… **Falls over snoring**

Redd: Sorry if this made no sense… Kate's been random because School starts next week and she gets to see her boyfriend hopefully two weekends in a row…

It's 3:11 in the morning… I think I'm cured… for now…


End file.
